Sunday, July 10, 2016

Gettin' Goofy!


The Calculating Sheepdog


After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he 
reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
Submitted by Norie Bloom, 
Honolulu, Hawaii


Paula Poundstone on Over-Sharing


We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They 
could call it On Anon Anon.
Paula Poundstone


New and Improved Names 
for Boring Everyday Things


• Couch = People Shelf
• Books = Manual Films
• Bracelets = Clockless Watches
• Air Horn = Spray Scream
• Bottled Water = Snowman Blood
• Feather = Bird Leaf
From sliptalk.com


Blessed Are The Red-Necked


“What’s wrong, Bubba?” asked the pastor.
“I need you to pray for my hearing,” said Bubba.
The pastor put his hands on 
Bubba’s ears and prayed. When he was done, he asked, “So how’s your hearing?”
“I don’t know,” said Bubba. “It isn’t until next Tuesday.”
Submitted by Kenneth Roberts, 
Mauston, Wisconsin


Thank you Readers Digest!  I have loved reading you since I was a child!!

7 comments:

BW Bandy said...

Argh.

Lisa Lane said...

Hey now....That's some funny stuff...and there is more where that came from!!! ; P

Granny said...

A man goes to his doctor and tells him, "I've had the song What's New Pussycat stuck in my head for weeks, and it's driving me crazy." The doctor says, "well, I think you may have Tom Jones disease." The man says," I've never heard of that, is is rare?" the doctor replies, "It's not unusual."
giggle

Lisa Lane said...

Hahaha~I LOVE that one!! Thank you Granny!! ; )

Terry said...

Granny, that was so bad I had to run in the other room and tell everyone. LOLOL

The dog one reminds me of the proof that dogs can count. Show the dog you put three dog treats in your pocket then give the dog only two of them...

Lisa Lane said...

Terry I was just thinking bout you.....Everybody Has To Be Somewhere has a cool Train Post that you would like .....you might want to check it out....Chickenmom probably already told you about it....

I thought it was pretty funny myself...but Ken wouldn't get it...so I did not share....but I will tell it to my Dad! LOL He will crack up!

And you are right about dogs counting...Charlie is really sharp with his math skills! ; P

Terry said...

Thanks for the tip, I hadn't checked BW's blog in a couple of days. And no, Chickenmom didn't tell me about it probably because she knows I look at his blog. Glad you are watching out for me. :)